To the girl or the boy with all the trust issues,
Do you remember the way it felt when you weren’t afraid to try? When you didn’t know what could go wrong?
Step 1. Admitting to yourself that you want that person.
Step 2. The slight fear of being rejected.
Step 3. The immediate relief when they start showing interest.
Step 4. The anticipation , the butterflies in your stomach before the first hug, first date, first kiss etc…
Step 5. The unbelievable feeling of the possibility of loving someone and knowing with certainty that they could love you back.
Don’t you miss it? Don’t you want to open yourself up to those experiences? I know what you’re thinking: ” Where’s STEP 6, the step where I get my heart stomped on and broken into a thousand little pieces “. I’m guessing you got hurt, misled, disappointed the first, second, third time and you don’t want it to happen again. Well…me too, way too many times to count. For a period of time, I completely shut off my emotions. I could barely listen to emotional songs or watch anything that had to do with romance. I started to blame myself, and I began to feel like I was just not worthy of being loved, so why bother trying?
But I am starting to realize that everything in life worth having, comes with a certain level of risk. When it comes to relationships, you can only control your own actions. You have absolutely no control over the actions of the other person. You may go into a situation with the best intentions while the other person sees that as an opportunity to take advantage of you. You may decide to open up to someone who does not deserve it. On the other hand, you may meet the person who will do anything to make you feel safe, loved and appreciated. You may also meet a new and interesting person and make a friend for life. We can easily remember the few negative things that ended a romantic involvement yet we quickly forget all the positive experiences that were also part of that same interaction. If you got your heartbroken recently, with time, your heart will heal and you will be able to look back at the relationship objectively and see the bigger picture.
You’ll realize that those positive and negative experiences taught you valuable lessons. Maybe, you learned more about who you are and what you’re capable of. Maybe, you learned not to assume, jump to conclusions or overreact. Maybe, you learned the importance of communication, working together as a team, adjusting certain expectations. Or Maybe…you just learned NOT to be taken for granted. Do not let the people who hurt you control the way you live your life. All you can do is be open and be careful.
And let’s not forget that dating is supposed to be FUN. We are so preoccupied with what is going to happen next that we forget to enjoy the moment. Even if it does not lead to anything, you can simply enjoy flirting, dancing, kissing, laughing with someone.
Don’t get me wrong, you can definitely choose to take a break from seeking love and focus on other important aspects of your well-being. Even so, promise me to never shut the door completely on the possibilities that love has to offer.