Since I was a young girl, I had this idea of what my life would be like as an adult. This, of course, was based on how I perceived the life that my parents lived. My mother is two years younger and 4 inches shorter than my father. Naturally, I expected to marry an older AND taller man. My mother got married and gave birth to me between the ages of 26 and 27. I’m turning 25 so guess what? I better be engaged some time soon if life is going to go according to plan. My career goals were never clear. I just saw myself heading to the office with my husband every day just as, you guessed it! Just as I saw my parents do. From this ideal stemmed this constant reminder to NEVER SETTLE for less than what I deserve. But what is settling? There are so many different ways to define this that I wonder if we’ve all reached an agreement on what it means. Do we all understand what someone means when they urge you NOT to settle, or as they look at you with disappointment because they assume you’ve settled?
When it comes to relationships, people constantly find it in their right to decide whether the two people are right for each other, There’s often the debate of who settled for who. In life, if someone takes a job that seems humble in regards to the title or the salary people look down in disgust, shaking their head at the so-called “waste of potential”. One thing I have come to realize is that settling does not always have to be a negative thing.I went through most life never settling for less than what I thought I deserved , but also not knowing what exactly it is that I do deserve. I continuously believed that “settling” was something to be avoided at all cost.
This word is so ambiguous that I wonder If we know why we claim to be running away from it. I’ve felt so confused and lost these past few years that settling, for me, would be a relief. The idea of finding and establishing a routine that works for me, to live a calm and quiet life, to be in a relationship where I finally feel safe and secure. We as human beings have something called Intuition. We know when we’re putting ourselves in danger and we also know when we’re making certain choices that will protect us and be better for us in the long run. Each individual needs to be able to decide what is best for them.
For someone who has had a dream of being an actor or a musician their whole life, settling into a routine of a 9-5 may make them miserable. For someone who has always wanted to be a doctor, settling for a nursing degree due to life’s obstacles may not be enough. However, for someone who has yet to find their passion in life, settling into a routine career in which they are excelling and growing as a productive member of society may be the best and most fulfilling option. For someone who has always yearned but never experienced the lustful nature of passionate consuming love, they may be disappointed to meet someone who’s practical and serious about commitment. However, for someone who has felt the temporary flames of intense heartbreaking love, it may feel like a remedy to meet someone who seems safe and loving and dependable.
My point is , do what YOU want to do with your love life, your career goals, your hobbies. Take what you feel is necessary for YOU. Stop worrying about if you’re settling based on what society says a successful life is supposed to look and feel like.